Feds to Black Heroes: “Count us out for now”

BY Harlow Chan / The New York Pulse / November 10

NEW YORK—The FBI left a lot of New Yorkers upset today, when it made an official statement regarding its investigation into The Vitruvius Investment Company. Vitruvius has been under political and legal fire since a July 19th incident, in which Simon Tudor: the company's CEO, was exposed as an Android during a destructive battle against The Black Heroes. That battle, which took twelve innocent lives, prompted The Heroes to publicly support an NYPD investigation into Vitruvius, as well as a district attorney request for mandatory biological screenings of all Vitruvius employees. (As most of our readers will recall, the Androids only appear organic; but a few simple medical tests can expose their true nature.)

When the courts denied the D.A.'s request, citing privacy laws, the police investigation came to a standstill. Then, as expected, the FBI intervened. The Bureau launched its own investigation, conducting its own screenings of potential Androids. Those screenings were halted, however, following a court injunction that found the practice invasive and premature.

Today, at a Washington press conference, the FBI confirmed a change in its position and strategy.

“Make no mistake,” said Arthur Ford: FBI Spokesperson, “Our investigation is ongoing. We are simply reassessing our approach to this matter, taking special care to remain within Constitutional parameters.”

Vitruvius, in turn, wasted no time with its own response.

“We are encouraged by the FBI's commitment to justice and look forward to working closely with all law enforcement agencies,” said David Burton, lead counsel for the company.

But the legal drama didn't end there. When asked about The Black Heroes, and their involvement in the case, Burton made the company's position crystal clear.

“We are proceeding with legal action against Obsidian Black and Opal Stone. We have filed for felony harassment, on the grounds that these people have threatened bodily harm against our board members, and created a worldwide hostile environment, through their accusations and actions. Because of their irresponsible behavior, there is no safe place on Earth for a Vitruvius employee.”

The Black Heroes could not be reached for comment. But their vocal internet supporters have noted an odd curiosity. Though Vitruvius has filed for harassment, they haven't filed defamation charges, which would require proof that The Black Heroes were lying about the Androids on their board of directors. Regardless of its legal motivations, Vitruvius remains openly optimistic.

“Hopefully, this matter will be cleared up soon,” said Burton, “so that all New Yorkers can feel safe again.”